


Holding on

by lil_1337



Category: Gundam Wing
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-05-30
Updated: 2006-05-30
Packaged: 2017-11-06 21:51:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/423652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lil_1337/pseuds/lil_1337
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A sort of sequel to letting go.  Trowa's take on why he likes to experiment with Quatre.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Holding on

**Author's Note:**

  * For [windsorblue](https://archiveofourown.org/users/windsorblue/gifts), [wildchildcait](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=wildchildcait).



The first time I wasn't sure what to expect. When he put the cuffs on my wrists I had to fight the desire to work them off. I've been handcuffed and restrained before, but never willingly. Always they have been a sign that I was captured and in danger, something to be removed at the first possible chance. But, this was different and I had to tell myself I had agreed, not because Quat asked me or talked me into it, but because I wanted to prove to him that no matter what might have happened in the past I trust him. Not only with my life, but also with my sanity. With him I know that it's safe to let down my guards and just feel. I don't have to hide anything, or try to be anyone other than myself.

Handcuffs were the first step. No touching, at least for me. It was frustrating, and freeing. Once I worked past that it was okay to just let myself enjoy what I was feeling it was amazing. Quatre touching me everywhere, spending time on the spots he knows I'm most sensitive, my nipples and inner thighs. Slowly, driving me insane with desire, giving me back a hundred fold all the times I've teased him. My need feeding his which in turn feeds mine, in an escalating cycle of pleasure begetting pleasure.

When my hands are finally released I can't stop touching him. The feel of his skin and the stands of his hair send shivers through my body almost as strong as the post orgasmic aftershocks. I love to hold and caress him, but after being denied that when he is right in front of me, just out of reach, it even more fulfilling. It's like that first drink of water on a desert crossing, savored and in that moment the best thing ever experienced. The longer the delay in giving into the desire the sweeter the moment of actualization when it is finally realized. It's not about self-denial, that I think I don't deserve to touch him or anything like that. More it’s the knowledge that the important things in life are worth waiting for.

I'm not sure what made me think about the blindfold, something I read I suspect. I mentioned it to Quat one day in passing and the next day when he came home from work he brought one with him. The material was black on the inside and a dark green on the outside. Something slippery and soft, yet heavy enough to block out the light. It took me several days of looking at it, touching the material and finally trying it on, before I was ready to incorporate it into lovemaking.

Again I had no real idea what to expect though this time there was less anxiety and more anticipation. Unlike losing my ability to touch, having my vision taken from me did not increase the desire to have that sense. In fact it was just the opposite. I could close my eyes and picture exactly what Quat was doing. How he looked, flushed with desire, as he touched and tasted my body. What it did was heighten my other senses. I could hear the way his breath hitched when I touched his cock, the soft sigh that meant he was fully inside. His moans and whispered words of endearment that are so much a part of being with him took on special meaning and emphasis as they marked each time his arousal increased.

The scents of sex, musky and tantalizing, hanging in the air, filled my nostrils along with something spicy and sweet that can only be described as the scent of Quat himself. Its as if he is filling me in ways that go beyond penetration. His voice in my ears, his scent in my nostrils, his skin under my finger tips. Everything I am and experience is him.

We discussed and then discarded the idea of a gag. There was no appeal for either of us as we both like to kiss and hear the other speak. Quat prefers to use his cock if he wants me to be quiet and that is something I will always happily agree to. Tasting him and knowing that I am the cause of those heady moans, the reason his fingers pull on my hair, that is one of the greatest things I've had the privilege of experiencing. Knowing that I am giving pleasure adds to my own enjoyment and sense of balance within our relationship.

There are other things we've tried such as dominance and spanking. Quat has a weakness for being spanked, one that amuses and entices me. Feeling his skin warm under my hand as it turns a blushing pink is one of the more erotic sights I've ever had the pleasure to see. The accompanying whimpers as he tries to remain passive to my will serving to remind me that he has given himself over to me and I have the honor of being the one who will catch him when he falls and I bask in the knowledge that he trusts me enough to let himself go.

Each experience has brought with it its own revelations and an awaking of a different part, not only of myself, but our relationship. None of this is something we do every day or even every time we make love. It requires a specific mood and need from both of us, an itch that can't be satisfied by any other means. No matter what the mechanics of the act the important thing is how we feel about each other and that it is manifested in what we do.


End file.
